Talking in Parenthesis

Ramblings and angst from a mostly stay at home mom

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us. It is in everyone. And as we let our light shine, we give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. -Nelson Mandela

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Lost

I am pretty sure he is doing it again. Yes that is vague statement, but it is about all I can admit to right now. To myself or anybody else. I wish I could confront him. I have some in the past, and of course oh now it isn't what I think or even a couple of times it has been my fault. I have long since come to terms with I will never be enough him for him, that I am not his ideal. That was hard to deal with them, but I am resigned to it. It is the fact that he might be having a relationship with somebody else. I know something was going on with Erin, he told me that it was just talk, and joking, flirting that got out of hand. I found those e-mails, didn't seem like nothing. But yet I go on like noting happened. WHY? What is wrong with me? He is pulling away again, just like before. Is it Erin? Or how about the one he left AMM for? Hmmm that was a banner moment, when he tells I changed jobs because I was so attracted to her. Wow I feel so good about myself now. I just don't know what to do. I guess retreat deeper into myself. It is safe there, they know me there.

Posted by Megan : 3:12 PM :