Talking in Parenthesis
Ramblings and angst from a mostly stay at home mom
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us. It is in everyone. And as we let our light shine, we give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. -Nelson Mandela
Saturday, December 31, 2005
Happy New Year
I guess this should be a deep insightful retrospective post, but I just don't think I have the energy to do something like that. Hopefully I will have the energy next week. So until then, have a happy, fun and safe new years. I am off to watch more of my Criminal Intent marathon.
Friday, December 30, 2005
Better, I think
I think I am feeling better. Still a little disconnected but that is kind of a normal feeling, at least for me. Spent the morning at work as usual and was a little annoyed. I work with great people, it is just one gets on my nerves a little bit. And she was on them big time today. She is a high school girl and therefore is a little flighty at times. She comes to work only when she feels like it,it seems. And only does the things she wants too. One of he things we are supposed to do every morning is vacuum. I have done it almost everyday this week and didn't want to do it today. Well she couldn't do it because her back hurt or something. Nice. And she is also annoyed that I won't work for her on Monday. Nope not going to do it, I have worked everyday since last Saturday. I need a day off ad I need to do laundry and such to get the kiddos ready for school. Oh well, I am letting it go. It just annoyed me at the time.
I wish I didn't have to work tomorrow and for a very silly reason. The are having a Criminal Intent marathon on USA tomorrow. I would like nothing more than curl up and watch all day. Sigh...
I wish I didn't have to work tomorrow and for a very silly reason. The are having a Criminal Intent marathon on USA tomorrow. I would like nothing more than curl up and watch all day. Sigh...
Thursday, December 29, 2005
Floating
Maybe it is because I have worked all week and my schedule is all wonky or maybe it is something else but things just feel disconnected today. Like I am floating. Can't quite get centered or my feet on the ground. Right now I have the head phones on, Macy Gray loud enough that my Mom would have a heart attack (Your hearing, think of your hearing). I would like to get rid of this before I go to bed because I know I won't sleep. My mind wanders from topic to topic, often several at a time. I have a very strange mind, that is sort of like a computer with multiple browser windows open. Somedays it is easier to focus on one thing than others. Today is not a good focus day (switch music to Depeche Mode) and I don't know why. Having a brain that multitasks thought is a pretty cool thing except when you want to sleep. I basically have to be so tired I drop or my mind keeps racing. Nothing earth shattering, not even really worries, like money etc.. Odd things, like recipes I would like to try, books I have read, movies, conversations etc. One thing that does help is talk radio when I sleep. Not music, that makes my brain work harder I guess. Talk radio gives my brain something to focus on. My current favorite is George Noory. He took over for Art Bell, I like all the paranormal stuff. (switch music to OMD) I might give my book some attention too, I have taken such a long time reading this book, unusual for me, hmmm.
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Three Things Thursday
I have been thinking of this while I walk to work in the morning, so I decided to use it for my 3 things list.
My Three Favorite Things about morning...
1. The color of the sky. Lately the clouds have been an amazing shade of pink and the sky a blue violet.
2. The amount of animals in my neighborhood. For an urban neighborhood there are a lot of different animals. So far I have seen raccoons, rabbits, foxes, red tail hawks, coopers hawks, kestrels, great horned owl, prairie dogs and heard coyotes.
3. The smell. Hard to describe, the crisp cool air, with a hint of leftover wood smoke and frost.
My Three Favorite Things about morning...
1. The color of the sky. Lately the clouds have been an amazing shade of pink and the sky a blue violet.
2. The amount of animals in my neighborhood. For an urban neighborhood there are a lot of different animals. So far I have seen raccoons, rabbits, foxes, red tail hawks, coopers hawks, kestrels, great horned owl, prairie dogs and heard coyotes.
3. The smell. Hard to describe, the crisp cool air, with a hint of leftover wood smoke and frost.
Busy
Made it through Christmas fine. Ron's Mom adjusted, I think with help from his Dad. I had a few surprises, Britty spent his hard earned babysitting money on a beautiful "candle" fountain. I have always wanted one. And Ron surprised me with an MP3 player. Nothing huge, but it is nice to have for the 1 1/2 walk to work and to wear while I am working. Speaking of working that is all I have been doing this week. We are VERY short handed at the store and since I have the older ones to watch the little ones. I have been working from 7 to 11 or so. I hate waking up early, I am not a morning person, I would much rather stay up until 2 or so.
Friday, December 23, 2005
The Eve of Christmas Eve
My kids have been doing the eve of the eve of stuff for about a week. Think they are excited? Ron should be home in an hour or so, he only works a half day today. Who orders paint 2 days before Christmas anyways? As soon as he changes we will go out and finish our shopping and probably do some lunch too. I am looking forward to doing grown up type things. I love my kids but right now they are driving me nuts. They are bouncing, literally, off the walls.
The next issue is dealing with Ron's mom. I know she wants us down there for Christmas, but it just isn't going to work. And I know she is going to punish us for it. Nothing major, just the usual passive aggressive stuff and the guilt trips. The don't you love me stuff. I dread dealing with that.
Enough of the negative. I am going to go get ready to go out. I am going enjoy myself. I do wish it was gently snowing out, bummer. Instead it is 60 degrees. That is why in Colorado you never buy a sled for Christmas. If you do, you get sunny and 60 degrees. Same with a bike, if you buy a bike you get sub-zero and snow. Gotta love Colorado weather.
The next issue is dealing with Ron's mom. I know she wants us down there for Christmas, but it just isn't going to work. And I know she is going to punish us for it. Nothing major, just the usual passive aggressive stuff and the guilt trips. The don't you love me stuff. I dread dealing with that.
Enough of the negative. I am going to go get ready to go out. I am going enjoy myself. I do wish it was gently snowing out, bummer. Instead it is 60 degrees. That is why in Colorado you never buy a sled for Christmas. If you do, you get sunny and 60 degrees. Same with a bike, if you buy a bike you get sub-zero and snow. Gotta love Colorado weather.
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
Three Things Thursday
This will be some of my favorite Christmas memories
1. The first Christmas that Brinton was starting to understand Christmas. He kept checking his stocking every morning to see if there was anything else in it. It was very sweet.
2. Alli's first Christmas. I had waited so long for a girl. Shopping for girlie stuff was soooo fun. Of course the next one was even more fun because she could actually play with her gifts.
3. I think I was 5, the year I got my kitchen set. It remains my most favorite toy of all time.
1. The first Christmas that Brinton was starting to understand Christmas. He kept checking his stocking every morning to see if there was anything else in it. It was very sweet.
2. Alli's first Christmas. I had waited so long for a girl. Shopping for girlie stuff was soooo fun. Of course the next one was even more fun because she could actually play with her gifts.
3. I think I was 5, the year I got my kitchen set. It remains my most favorite toy of all time.
COOKIES!!!!
Okay I am either in cookie heaven or hell, I haven't decided which. I made a double batch of fudge, the marshmallow cream kind, that is still cooling. Normally it would cool quicker, but we are having strange weather again. it is 55 right now and supposed to be 60 tomorrow. So much for a white Christmas. But ah, such is Colorado. Back to the cookies. So far I have baked 4 batches of chocolate chip and almost done with the 2nd batch of oatmeal scotchies. I am so sick of cookie dough, ugh. I think I will wait and do the sugar cookies on Saturday after work, that way there will be some for Santa.
The cutest part of the cookie baking is Alli. I let her have a bowl, flour water and bits of over stuff (baking soda, etc). My mom let me do the same thing. She has been happily mixing and pretending all afternoon. Maybe I will rethink the Easy Bake oven thing. I was going to get her one for her next birthday. Basically because my Mom would never get me one, the basis of a lot of toy purchases I think. My Mom never got me one, because instead she let me mess around in the kitchen. First pretend and then for real. I was baking "real" cakes when I was in first grade or so. Man I hate it when Mom was right, lol.
Another batch is calling me. There is nothing better than cookies fresh from the oven, when the chips are all melty. Yummmm.
The cutest part of the cookie baking is Alli. I let her have a bowl, flour water and bits of over stuff (baking soda, etc). My mom let me do the same thing. She has been happily mixing and pretending all afternoon. Maybe I will rethink the Easy Bake oven thing. I was going to get her one for her next birthday. Basically because my Mom would never get me one, the basis of a lot of toy purchases I think. My Mom never got me one, because instead she let me mess around in the kitchen. First pretend and then for real. I was baking "real" cakes when I was in first grade or so. Man I hate it when Mom was right, lol.
Another batch is calling me. There is nothing better than cookies fresh from the oven, when the chips are all melty. Yummmm.
Monday, December 19, 2005
The countdown has begun
Went shopping for the stocking stuffers today. I love that. Frankly the stockings are one of my favorite things. I love getting small just perfect things for everybody. Even got the dog and cats something. All I have to get I think is candy canes and a Sudoko book for Brit. He loves those puzzles and I thought he would like it. It is a little sad this year, examples of them growing up keep hitting me in the face. Only 2 stuffed animals this year. Everybody else is too big. (I did find some kitties that look just like Spikey.) Sigh.
Going to make the gingerbread houses tomorrow. Then cookies I think the next day, maybe break that up in 2 days. I want to make Toll House cookies, oatmeal butterscotchie things, and sugar cookies. I also need to make a black forest type cake for Ron's potluck on Friday. Plus the rest of the shopping. I think I will wrap Friday too. I love wrapping. I actually find it relaxing. I know I am strange. A lot to do, but not in a bad way.
Hmm I am thinking pizza for dinner. Hey one less thing.
Going to make the gingerbread houses tomorrow. Then cookies I think the next day, maybe break that up in 2 days. I want to make Toll House cookies, oatmeal butterscotchie things, and sugar cookies. I also need to make a black forest type cake for Ron's potluck on Friday. Plus the rest of the shopping. I think I will wrap Friday too. I love wrapping. I actually find it relaxing. I know I am strange. A lot to do, but not in a bad way.
Hmm I am thinking pizza for dinner. Hey one less thing.
Thursday, December 15, 2005
Three Things Thursday
This will be a Christmas Traditions edition today
1. I do not fix the big traditional dinner for Christmas. I only do that for Thanksgiving. Instead we pick a fun dinner to do. We have done cheeseburgers, nachos, mini pizzas. I would rather make something like that and enjoy my day, than spend it cooking.
2. Christmas Eve bedtime is reading 2 stories to the kids, Twas the Night Before Christmas and as Alli calls it Baby Jesus story from the bible.
3. We always have Christmas Crackers. You know the ones you pull at both ends, they pop and a small toy and a paper crown come out?
1. I do not fix the big traditional dinner for Christmas. I only do that for Thanksgiving. Instead we pick a fun dinner to do. We have done cheeseburgers, nachos, mini pizzas. I would rather make something like that and enjoy my day, than spend it cooking.
2. Christmas Eve bedtime is reading 2 stories to the kids, Twas the Night Before Christmas and as Alli calls it Baby Jesus story from the bible.
3. We always have Christmas Crackers. You know the ones you pull at both ends, they pop and a small toy and a paper crown come out?
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Happy Mommy
Nate's holiday concert was last night. It was really nice. They actually sang songs I have heard of. Which doesn't always happen. And I call it a holiday concert because it truly celebrated everybody's faith. And in our elementary school we have lots of different countries represented and religions celebrated. I love that the teachers allow the kids to explain how thing as are celebrated in their homes. It goes on all year too. Anyways Nate had lots of fun. And Franklin played his baritone before the singing. I am still amazed at how composed he is when he plays. Their are only 2 of them that play the baritone, Franklin and his best friend. They played a duet of a simple song first since Grant hasn't been playing that long. And then Franklin played a piece by himself. I was very impressed. There were a lot of people there and doing that by yourself, wow. And this is the kid in kindergarten, who would barely talk and cried when he had trouble with writing his name. Amazing. I think that is one of my favorite things about being a Mom. Watching them grow, discover themselves, for themselves. Watching them become what they want to be.
Monday, December 12, 2005
Shiny Happy Monday...
The sun is out, the sky is a beautiful blue and I feel pretty good. At least I can exhale today.
Mom had a bit of a scare this weekend. She was in the hospital for diverticulitis. Considering all the scary things it could have been, it is a blessing. And frankly not surprised since Grandma had trouble with it for years. And now her diet doesn't have to be as restrictive as it was years ago. Just lots more fiber and lots more water.
Starting the week of concerts that always surrounds this time of year with the kids. Tonight it is Nate singing and Franklin playing baritone. Then we will have Alli singing Wednesday and Franklin singing Wednesday. I am sure there are things that come up at the last minute as well. Like plates of cookies, etc. A problem for most people but I love it and this time of the year.
Mom had a bit of a scare this weekend. She was in the hospital for diverticulitis. Considering all the scary things it could have been, it is a blessing. And frankly not surprised since Grandma had trouble with it for years. And now her diet doesn't have to be as restrictive as it was years ago. Just lots more fiber and lots more water.
Starting the week of concerts that always surrounds this time of year with the kids. Tonight it is Nate singing and Franklin playing baritone. Then we will have Alli singing Wednesday and Franklin singing Wednesday. I am sure there are things that come up at the last minute as well. Like plates of cookies, etc. A problem for most people but I love it and this time of the year.
Wednesday, December 07, 2005
Three Things Thursday
1. I love to bake, you name I will bake it. But I hardly ever eat anything I bake. In fact the holidays aren't all that hard for me sweets-wise. Now Chex mix that is another story.
2. On of my favorite things to do is laundry. Not folding laundry mind you but the washing and drying. It is hugely satisfying to me.
3. On of my most favorite foods during Christmas time is peppermint ice cream. You know the kind, with the little pieces of green and red candy. I love, and will not eat it any other time of the year. Even when it is below zero like tonight.
2. On of my favorite things to do is laundry. Not folding laundry mind you but the washing and drying. It is hugely satisfying to me.
3. On of my most favorite foods during Christmas time is peppermint ice cream. You know the kind, with the little pieces of green and red candy. I love, and will not eat it any other time of the year. Even when it is below zero like tonight.
Monday, December 05, 2005
Should I Laugh or Cry
I was playing with Napster (the legal one) tonight with Franklin, my writer. I introduced him to some new artists. David Bowie, Elvis Costello and Weird Al. Not comment on my musical tastes. That is actually pretty tame. Anyways... after he listened to each of them and decided he liked them his one question was are they still alive? I feel old now...
Another Monday
Okay I have pretty much everything done for Christmas except shopping and baking. And I am slowly getting that all done too. I got all of my cards in the mail and all the decorations went up. Well except the outside lights, but there is too much snow on the bush and it is windy again. Which makes the wind chill almost below zero, no thank you. Should make the bus stop a very fun place today. Wind, blowing snow, cold and 2 already very cranky little girls. Whoa, I am counting the minutes until I leave.
But back to the decorating. I have made a decision this year. I am usually pretty anal about the placement of the ornaments on the tree. Making decorating it not as much fun as it ought to be. This year I have decided to let go. I put up a few of my very favorite ornaments. Ones that mean something to me or i just really like. And the rest I let the kids do. Well except the family ones, the ones that have our names, Ron s in charge of those. Yes there are big ornaments above my magic middle line. And there at too many ornaments on some branches. But the kids had a great time. Nobody else really sees our tree but us, so should it matter that the they wanted the icicle lights on the tree this year because the kids like they way they twinkle? No. Should it matter that Emma put all of her favorite ornaments on the same branch? No. This year I am going to sit back and enjoy the ride.
But back to the decorating. I have made a decision this year. I am usually pretty anal about the placement of the ornaments on the tree. Making decorating it not as much fun as it ought to be. This year I have decided to let go. I put up a few of my very favorite ornaments. Ones that mean something to me or i just really like. And the rest I let the kids do. Well except the family ones, the ones that have our names, Ron s in charge of those. Yes there are big ornaments above my magic middle line. And there at too many ornaments on some branches. But the kids had a great time. Nobody else really sees our tree but us, so should it matter that the they wanted the icicle lights on the tree this year because the kids like they way they twinkle? No. Should it matter that Emma put all of her favorite ornaments on the same branch? No. This year I am going to sit back and enjoy the ride.