Talking in Parenthesis

I swear I can not keep track of the days anymore. The weeks are getting crazy as they always do when the end of the school year approaches. Brit and Clay have baseball games. Clay has playoff game today, he is excited. Franklin just finished all-city band, pretty cool. And now he has a part in the middle school production of The King and I. They use some of the elementary schools kids to play the parts of the children since the middle schoolers are too tall. (have you seen some of the middle schoolers? They are HUGE) He has on of of the 2 spoken parts for the children and a little improvised part because he was given the wrong costume. He has a soldier costume so when he is presented to the King to bow, he salutes instead, causing the King to shake his head and then he bows. It was his idea. It is really neat to see him be so excited. He has always talked about the idea of becoming an actor. Not a movie star, a real actor. And this is the first step, he is excited, happy. It is wonderful. This is one of the best parts of being a mom, watching them bloom. The performance is tomorrow night and I can't wait.

Springtime in the Rockies brought snow and cold the first couple of days this week. But the weather is great now. And while I know that I said I don't like floral smells, I guess I should have said most. The lilacs are in bloom now and I love their smell. The real things, the flowers, no bottles, no sprays, but the real flowers. I walk past a bunch of them on my way to and from the bus stop.

We made a decision on letting Clay go to Minnesota for 2 months this summer. We have decided against it. Many reasons, but the biggest is I just don't think he is grown up enough to handle it, that long. And maybe I am over protective, but so be it, that is my job. I know he is disappointed and thinks that I am treating him like a baby but... He has to prove to me he is ready. He has done a few things this last month in school, copying a report off the internet, getting caught, lying about it, and doing it again would be the biggest, that make us feel he isn't ready. And there is part of me that feels like some of it is my fault. If I had done this different or done that instead. If I wasn't so hard on him or harder. To even if I hadn't worked so much when I was pregnant. What is it about being a mom that makes us feel so much guilt? (See Gwen it isn't just you, we all feel this way) He doesn't seen to understand how serious all of this is and that is what bothers me the most. And I don't know how to change it.

I guess the answer to everything is to just have faith...